"I've come to the frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element at work. It's my personal approach that creates the climate; it's my daily mood that makes the weather. I possess a tremendous power to make a child's life miserable or joyous. I can be a tool for torture, or an instrument of inspiration. I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal. In all situations it is my response that decides whether a crisis will be escalated or deescalated or a child humanized or dehumanized." - Haim Ginott
This amazing quote is posted on the back of the door leading to my courtyard. I never took to time to read it until today and I'm glad I did. Humiliate or humor. Hurt or heal. I know that these boys are all here for one reason or another. If they didn't need to be here they would be at home with their families, but I think what everyone who works with kids needs to remember is that they are watching you in every moment to see how you react to things and how you handle yourself in certain situations. It's an amazing amount of pressure to be a role model every second of every day. There is a lot riding on how these boys react to their emotions and they look to us as staff to help them figure out what is acceptable. If I choose to ignore the most annoying kid on the courtyard or if I laugh at a prank, then those things become acceptable for the boys to do as well.
The Challenge of Parenting
I think I have a moment during every shift where I take mental note of how hard it is to be a parent and how grateful I am to have the ones that I do. The above quote was my epiphany for the day. I see and feel the strain of being under watch constantly by someone, but they were there to humor and heal and make my life joyous. They successfully attempted what I now see as a near impossible task: raising children. I have a new found respect for all parents or grandparents or foster parents or whoever decides to take on the challenge.
Tomorrow brings another day sure to be filled with unexpected life lessons. I am genuinely grateful to be able to share what I am learning with those of you who have been keeping up.
Love you Kelsie and VERY proud that you are my daughter.
ReplyDeleteThanks Mom :) That means a lot to me.
DeleteAh shucks, dear. It wasn't too long ago you pointed out there is no manual for raising kids, we rely on our parents examples, which in your Mom's and my case were good, and on what we see and discuss with family and friends. There are plenty of bad examples unfortunately and it's sad. We all make mistakes but it is good to know the overall it (you and Bro) turned out good...no great! Thanks for the early Father's Day present! Love you too!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you and mom know how much you mean to both of us. We were lucky!
DeleteKelsie,
ReplyDeleteJackie and I have been following your blog. She finds it interesting to read from a "rookie's perspective," since she's been in the psychology field for a while (she's old like me, but don't tell her I said that!). Sounds like this summer will be a great experience for you. Oh, and in your free time try out: Rendezvous BBQ (not as good as the BBQ in Texas, but....), and go see the Peabody Ducks! -Cousin Dave
Thank you both so much for keeping up with me. That means so much! I have really enjoyed the experience so far and with only seven more weeks left I'm sure I will have lots more stories to tell!! Hope all is well!
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