Day Three

Today was the next to last day for orientation. We covered HIPPA laws and boundaries with the children. I was briefed on what I can and can't say here in my blog. PR for Youth Villages also came around to take individual pictures and have all the interns fill out a bio so that they can send out press releases to our home towns. I gave the PR rep a link to my blog so hopefully more people can begin to read it. I'm excited to share my experiences with people from home and maybe inspire some people to look more closely at the agencies offered in their areas. These places always need help and these kids are our future. The quote that I hear every day in my head: "It is easier to build up a child than fix an adult." 

Approach to Violence

After the standard privacy act talk we started what they call CPI training. It is Crisis Prevention Institute training on Non-violent Crisis Intervention. For four hours today we discussed ways we can verbally deescalate a situation. I learned SO much in those four hours of note taking and role playing. We covered everything from kids flat out refusing to do a task such as homework to children trying to intimidate or manipulate their way out of a situation. We had scenarios that gave everyone in the group a chance to play out in their own minds what they are going to to when, not if, but when a child comes up to them in an escalated mood.  I had asked myself some of these same questions earlier in the week and today my fears were put to rest. The techniques they taught us today were really helpful in handling real life situations that are bound to come up. The golden rule as interns though is to never place our hands on the children. We cannot restrain them in any way. So these verbal techniques will become very useful in high stress situation during the summer. We went through every type of child in the book. Aggressive, threatening, questioning, non compliant, defiant. We learned how to address every type of child and how to deescalate each situation. Tomorrow we learn how to do physical holds on children in an escalated state. Although we aren't allowed to do these holds, we are required to know the proper technique so that we can spot harmful behaviors. Obviously though, the goal is to get a verbally aggressive child down to a reasonable and comprehensive level before he becomes physical. 

Five O'Clock

After work two of my coworkers and I went to a local Mexican restaurant to blow off some steam and to discuss our fears about the job. We all of course are worried about the physical pain that we might endure, but I think we mostly bonded over the fact that none of us want to be responsible for a child under our care to reach a point where he feels like it is necessary to become physical. We also discussed the uniqueness of the group of interns that are gathered here for the summer. Although we come from different states, colleges, and backgrounds, we all have one thing in common. We all have a passion inside of us that is driving us to help kids. The three of us sat there for a minute just thinking about how great it is to know that no matter who you turn to this summer, you will have a common thread with another intern.


Tomorrow is the last day of orientation and I'm more fired up than ever to start to get to know the boys in my courtyard. I know that I am surrounded by good and competent people and that I am armed with the skills to make a real difference in these children's lives. 

Day Two

7 AM came a little too early today and after a restless night, I wasn't ready for day two of orientation. And even though we had no interaction with our kids today, I knew it would prove to be more intense and, because of a lack of sleep, more challenging.

"Who We Are"

We started by delving into Youth Village's nine values. 

• Kids' needs come first...Always.

We make every decision in the best interest of each child. We adapt our programs to accommodate the special needs of children and families. Often we make personal sacrifices in order to help children and families achieve their potential.

• Children are raised best by their families. 

When at all possible, children belong with their families. We help families provide the support and structure that all children need.

• We provide a safe place. 

We provide care and treatment for children in an open, safe environment. We ensure that young people are physically and emotionally safe.

• We strive to achieve positive, lasting results. 

We help children and families develop skills to live successfully by focusing on areas that have a long-term impact on the family.

• We are committed to our staff. 

We recognize the many challenges our staff face each day. We value teamwork and help staff achieve their potential through an atmosphere of open communication, learning and fun.

• We are each responsible for providing the highest level of service to our customers. 

We deliver our best by listening and responding to our customers...every time, every day.

• We constantly improve our performance to achieve excellence. 

We measure our efforts by accessing our strengths and needs to identify areas for improvement. We believe that anything can be made better.

• We create new programs to meet the needs of children, families and the community. 

We develop innovative programs that serve children and families facing the most challenging circumstances. Our entrepreneurial spirit leads us to test the limits of existing services and create new opportunities.

• We do what we say we do.

Our mission and values are more than just something to talk about. They guide all of our decisions. We believe that our integrity can only be measured by how we live by these values each day.

 

These nine seemingly simple rules took us almost two hour to review. Then we moved on to more serious topics. 

Suicide, Abuse, and Runaways

After lunch we settled into a discussion about the very real risk of self harming behaviors exhibited in our kids. We were warned on the first day not to leave rubber gloves laying around as they might be used as a weapon against another or oneself. From then on out we were all looking around to see what other crafty ways these youth could find to cause harm. The discussion about suicidal tendencies was a controversial one as some religions view it as a sin while other cultures place honor upon taking one's own life. The stigma of selfishness or shame is often placed on suicide in the United States and we find it difficult to openly discuss, but with these children, it is necessary to be fully prepared. My first thought was how am I going to react when one of my boys comes up to me and says, "I don't like it here and I want to kill myself." The first thing we are taught is to take EVERY threat seriously. Yes, they may be attention seeking behaviors, but if you don't take that child seriously chances are they will decide to show you just how much they needed that attention. The one time you ignore a threat from a child will be the one who winds up in the hospital the next day. I know right now that I will not leave here this summer with a child who hurt himself because of something I did or didn't do. Let's be real, it may happen while I'm there. In fact, it is likely that some of my boys will go onto suicide watch at some point over the summer, but I will not be the person who ignored the warning signs and wrote it off as a way for him to get my attention. The next thing we needed to know is that  in these kids' minds suicide is a very viable option. They don't want to be here. Most of them have grown up in the system and have no way to picture life outside of residential treatments and group homes. They have no sense of what we consider a normal life and they feel that their life just isn't worth living. It's not our job to discredit these feelings, but to show them that when you put in the effort and you go through the programs your life can improve. 

After an insightful and heartbreaking discussion about children attempting to take their own lives, we moved on to abuse. Most abuse cases are cases of neglect. And most of those neglect cases are on children under the age of three. These neglected children eventually grow up and some of them end up in our programs. They never formed attachment and never learned to love or be loved. The example was given that when kittens are born their eyes are closed. An experiment was done where they took these newborn kittens and sewed their eyes shut until after normal kittens will have opened their eyes. When they took the stitches out, these kittens were blind and had lost their window of opportunity to develop vision. The same is true for children. There is a very distinct time frame when children have to ability to form attachment which produces certain hormones in the brain and distinguishes whether a child believes this world is a good and safe place or whether it is an unstable and dangerous place to grow up. This will follow a person for the rest of their lives. It's kind of scary to think that your caregivers have such an impact on the rest of your life at such an early age. 

From neglect we moved into sexual abuse, which for me was the most difficult to discuss. We classified different levels of warning signs and were given example after example of real life scenarios of children being sexually abused in their homes. What is the most frightening is what am I going to say to a boy who wants to open up to me and tell me about the abuse that went on in his home? A trust like this isn't something that I could ever brush off, but thinking of positive things to say to such a devastating situation was nearly impossible for me. Luckily we were given some tools to help us through these inevitable situations. First we never promise that things will get better. We can't promise that. We don't know what will happen in the future, but we can promise that we will get the child the tools available to help him. Secondly, don't show pity or sympathy. That might sound really harsh, but there is a huge difference in empathy and sympathy. These kids look for your weaknesses and as soon as they feel like you feel sorry for them, they will take full advantage. I think that was the most important lesson I learned from the eight hour of orientation I received today. Although my first reaction might be to say, "I am so sorry that happened to you. That's terrible." And I might be able to rationalize a child's behavior based on the abusive home that they grew up in. I cannot be sympathetic. Empathy. Empathy. Empathy.

CEO Dinner

When we finished at the operation's center, we all traveled over to Pat Lawler's home who is the founder and CEO of Youth Villages. He has been running it since its open in 1986 and successfully expanded the agency into 11 states. He is one of the nicest men I have ever met and he and his wife graciously opened their home to all of the interns for a BBQ. Before we started eating, he spoke with us about how an organization can have the best facilities and get funding all day, but without a strong and dedicated staff it all means nothing. He then gave several of the staff members a chance to introduce themselves and what struck me was the amount of time that the majority of people had been working for Youth Villages. 32 years. 24 years. 19 years. The decades most of these people have dedicated to this organization struck me. There has to be a reason to stay somewhere like this for 30 years right? I knew before, but I was reassured then that Youth Villages really cares about what they do with their children as well as how they treat their staff. I was again reminded how lucky I am to have this opportunity and made yet another mental note that I damn well better make the most of it.

Nerves are Back

After wrapping up the day's session I realized that although I am only one person and I am fully aware that I can only do so much, a lot is riding on me, on all of the summer staff, to do the best job we can do so that these kids can succeed as adults. It was a little overwhelming to sit here and think about all of the things that could go wrong, but luckily I know that I am surrounded by very competent staff and counselors who can teach me the right ways to deal with a child in crisis. I am anxious to get back over to the BCIRT and read my boys' case files and get to know them on a personal level. I'm ready to feel like I belong over there. I'm ready to get started, which I guess is a good sign?

Day One

I have been lucky enough to always seem to find a way to surround myself with people who want me to succeed. My parents, then my friends, and now employers. One in particular suggested very strongly that I keep a journal as I start my new adventure as a summer intern in Memphis at a non-profit called Youth Villages. So I am taking her advice to heart and keeping track of my next ten weeks here.

Let me start by saying that Youth Villages is a nationwide organization that facilitates residential treatments, foster care, adoption, mentoring, and crisis services for behaviorally and emotionally troubled children. Their number one goal is to help children and families live successfully. They are listed as a top 50 nonprofit to work for in the United States and their success rate is double that of the national average. And let me say, I am thrilled to be a part of such an amazing organization. I learned in orientation today that over 600 people applied for this position and they pick 65 interns ranging from here in Memphis to Washington State. So needless to say along with the initial excitement of being one of the chosen few, I also knew that the adolescents I was going to be working with were all place in this facility for a reason and it was going to be a challenging summer. 

I got here Saturday, and with the help of my amazing boyfriend, I was moved into the less than glamorous apartments on the Christian Brothers University campus in no time. We of course explored Beale Street Saturday night and then spent the day at the Memphis Zoo on Sunday. Then it came time for him to leave and with no other distractions until Tuesday, the anxiety and fear started to set in. I had no idea what to expect. I didn't know what age group I would be working with and I wasn't even sure if I would be placed with the boys or the girls. So I fell asleep Monday night full of anticipation. 

Day One:

I woke up bright and early ready to get some information about my summer adventure. Each person was assigned a placement at either a group home (level two security) , a residential treatment center (level three security), or the boys or girls center (level four security). I had been assigned to the BCIRT or Boy's Center for Intensive Residential Treatment, which happens to be a lock down and secure facility. So again my nerves start to make my stomach turn as I imagine behaviorally challenged teenage boys  meeting the new summer staff. (They call us summer staff instead of interns so that the kids respect us more.)

Anticipation Builds

The morning dragged on with the typical tax forms and privacy paperwork. Finally at lunch we got some real information. The supervisors over each of our facilities came to eat with us and answer any initial question we might have. Of course my group, which consists of five girls, including myself, and one guy, had a lot of questions. We were all concerned with our safety obviously and we really had no idea what we were getting ourselves into. We were mostly warned about getting spit on or bitten, which isn't any fun but after picturing getting physically assaulted by a 17 year old, it wasn't so bad. We were also informed over lunch that the BCIRT is divided into four courtyards. Courtyard one containing lower functioning 12-17 year olds. Courtyard two has more normal functioning 12-17 year olds. Courtyard three has the little boys, 8-12 years old, and courtyard four houses the older 15-20 year olds. I was assigned with one other summer staffer to courtyard one.

Level Four

At three o'clock we left orientation to travel to our respective campuses and observe for a few hours. We arrived at a single level brick building and immediately had to fill out more paperwork that allowed us to have keycards in order to move throughout the building. After all, it is a level four security facility and these boys will take any opportunity they can to get out. We walked briefly through each of the courtyards, but lingered in courtyard three where the cute little 8 year olds where in the midst of cussing each other out. After touring our facility, which to me seemed like a small step down from juvenile detention, our supervisor left us in the hands of the individual Program Coordinators for each courtyard. My coworker and I entered a dimly lit room to have a chat with our Program Coordinator before we entered into the courtyard with the boys. He sat us both down and very calmly informed us that the boys on that courtyard were mostly there because they are sexually aggressive. He in particular gave us the names of three young men to watch out for. He started listing things to look out for like boys standing behind you or boys trying to sneak into the showers or boys trying to get personal information out of you so that they can find you when they are discharged from the program. It was a plethora of information and I was at the very least intimidated by it all. But after he finished his speech and asked us if we had any questions, we timidly walked into the courtyard where the boys were having anger management class.

Observations

We sat watching for the remainder of the class and as soon as it was over we had boys coming up to us to ask us questions and of course wanting to shake our hands and be near us. Luckily they don't have a lot of unstructured time to just chit chat and snack was promptly given out which occupied the guys enough to steer them away from us. Afterwards they played kickball and then marched, and I mean marched, to dinner. Finally six o'clock rolled around and I was ready to get back onto CBU's campus and hear about everyone else's first impressions. My first impression: What have I gotten myself into? But I am confident that with more information and a little more training, I can muster up the courage to face these boys every day and who knows, maybe I will make a difference in one of their lives.